Friday, October 22, 2010

Church Potlucks! (funny?) Denominational Differences

Churches and denominations are often very different, but one thing they all have in common is potlucks. Except that the very differences in how they potluck, can tell us a lot about their churches. The following are some actual fake interviews of people from different churches.

The question: "Why did you bring what you brought to the potluck?"

  • Nazarene:   "After considering all the dietary restrictions from the Bible, I found there were still too many options, so I created some restrictions of my own. I was left with only one option - celery." 
  • Quakers (Friends):   "I didn't bring anything because I didn't have any clear leading from the Spirit."
  • Latter Day Saints (Mormon):   "I was just told to bring the Jello."
  • Universalists:   "Not wanting to offend anyone who has food allergies, strong opinions, or has been hurt by food in the past, I brought water, room temperature."
  • Mega-Church:   "That's the great thing about this church, I don't have to bring anything. They have chefs who make us the very best of foods money can buy!"
  • Baptists:   "Each color frosting represents a different spiritual law. The black frosting represents sin and death..."
  • Pentecostal:   "I opened my newspaper and there it was - a sign! Two for one pies... God is so good."
  • Emergent:   "At first I thought, Potluck? That's so 1985. But then I realized it's actually an ancient practice that's being re-discovered and re-imagined... So I brought the organic baba ghanoush and red wine."
  • Anglican:   "After checking the liturgical church calender, I realized that this is a season for reflection and repentance, so I brought the spit pea soup...It's a metaphor."
  • Conservative Baptist:   "After watching Glenn Beck, I realized that potlucks smack of socialism, so I am organizing an anti-potluck rally."
  • Roman Catholic:   "Potluck? Who's kid is getting baptized? Somebody die? Easter? Quinceanera? 
  • Amish:    "Potluck? Is that what they call it? We just call it Tuesday dinner"
  • Missional:    "We talked about how churches are too inward focused, so we decided to feed the hungry in our community instead. Then we realized, we don't know any hungry people." 
  • Presbyterian:    "You'll have to speak up sonny. Did you say Matlock? I love that Andy Griffith."
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*Disclaimer: I love the Church. I included my own "tribe" in this list. If we can't laugh at ourselves, we're in trouble. I meant no disrespect.




2 comments:

  1. I grew up Presbyterian, and I grew up loving Matlock. (Da-da-da-duh-duh, duh-duh-da-da-da-duh...theme song). Your post speaks truth.

    ReplyDelete