The question: "Why did you bring what you brought to the potluck?"
- Nazarene: "After considering all the dietary restrictions from the Bible, I found there were still too many options, so I created some restrictions of my own. I was left with only one option - celery."
- Quakers (Friends): "I didn't bring anything because I didn't have any clear leading from the Spirit."
- Latter Day Saints (Mormon): "I was just told to bring the Jello."
- Universalists: "Not wanting to offend anyone who has food allergies, strong opinions, or has been hurt by food in the past, I brought water, room temperature."
- Mega-Church: "That's the great thing about this church, I don't have to bring anything. They have chefs who make us the very best of foods money can buy!"
- Baptists: "Each color frosting represents a different spiritual law. The black frosting represents sin and death..."
- Pentecostal: "I opened my newspaper and there it was - a sign! Two for one pies... God is so good."
- Emergent: "At first I thought, Potluck? That's so 1985. But then I realized it's actually an ancient practice that's being re-discovered and re-imagined... So I brought the organic baba ghanoush and red wine."
- Anglican: "After checking the liturgical church calender, I realized that this is a season for reflection and repentance, so I brought the spit pea soup...It's a metaphor."
- Conservative Baptist: "After watching
Glenn Beck, I realized that potlucks smack of socialism, so I am organizing an anti-potluck rally."
- Roman Catholic: "Potluck? Who's kid is getting baptized? Somebody die? Easter? Quinceanera?
- Amish: "Potluck? Is that what they call it? We just call it Tuesday dinner"
- Missional: "We talked about how churches are too inward focused, so we decided to feed the hungry in our community instead. Then we realized, we don't know any hungry people."
- Presbyterian: "You'll have to speak up sonny. Did you say Matlock? I love that Andy Griffith."
If you enjoyed this list and want to share it with a friends,just email this link:
*Disclaimer: I love the Church. I included my own "tribe" in this list. If we can't laugh at ourselves, we're in trouble. I meant no disrespect.